Sarcastic Quotes: Some Food for Thought

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”--Oscar Wilde

“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”--Kin Hubbard

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”--Oscar Levant

“Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.”--Frank Lloyd Wright

“Stay with me; I want to be alone.”--Joey Adams

“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”--Steven Wright

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”--Emo Philips

“The problem with common sense is that most people are morons.”--Sarcasm Society

“One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.”--Will Durant


“It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor.”--John Cleese

“If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.”--Mark Twain